When Love Felt Like Control

He Was Everything… Except Real Love – My Story of Narcissistic Abuse & Self-Love

“I gave him control thinking he'd stay — but he still left.”

This is my healing journey after a narcissistic relationship—how I lost myself, and then found love again in the most unexpected place: myself.

When Love Felt Like Control

I’m writing this… not as a victim, but as someone who survived something no one warned me about — a narcissist.

At first, he was perfect. He said all the right things. He made me feel like I was the only one who mattered. And I believed it.

Signs I Ignored in a Narcissistic Relationship

Slowly, something changed. His love felt like a mirror — it only reflected him.

  • When I needed him — he was “busy.”
  • When I cried — I was “too sensitive.”
  • When I succeeded — he felt “ignored.”
  • When I asked for respect — I was “dramatic.”

The Breaking Point

Still, I stayed. I bent myself. I made myself smaller. I said sorry, even when I was hurt. I gave him control, thinking maybe that would make him stay.

But even then… he left. No goodbye. No explanation. Just silence. Like I never mattered.

How I Started Healing

And that was the truth — he never really loved me. He loved the power. The attention. The praise. He loved the version of me that said yes to everything.

What he gave me wasn't love — it was a game. A lie. A performance.

Loving Myself Again

But here’s what he didn’t expect — that I would rise. That I would learn. That I would love again… not him, but myself.

Now, I’m not begging for attention. I’m not explaining my worth. I’m not waiting for a message that never comes.

I look in the mirror now and see a woman who bent — but didn’t break. Who gave too much — but finally gave to herself. Who was left — but never truly lost.

“If you feel like you're not enough — please know, you are.”
You are not hard to love. You were just loving someone who never wanted to understand love.

Walk Away — With Strength

Walk away, with your head high. Because walking away from a narcissist is not weakness — it’s freedom.

— Written by someone who bent, broke, healed… and came back stronger.

Tags: narcissist, love, toxic relationships, self-healing, self-love

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